So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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