WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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