was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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