Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
