What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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