dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
