Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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