i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
