Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
