Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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