I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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