love makes seman taste better
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
