I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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