i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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