Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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