Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
