I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
