can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
