Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
