how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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