you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i out mim tonsoeep
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize