After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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