I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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