3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Pants are for mortals
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
