all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
