Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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