I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm like, not good at living.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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