Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
