I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
