Kiss
Puke
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
