yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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