hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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