I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
