what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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