i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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