we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
