I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
These tits shall not be calmed
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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