there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
