these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
