I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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