Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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