im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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