I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
