you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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