New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize