I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
