i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
