he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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