is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
