i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Farmville is her only friend.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize