i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
