I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Randomize
