I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
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i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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