I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
