Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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