I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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