If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
A bitchslap is in order.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Shame - the story of my life.
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