it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My breasts were aching with rage.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
