I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
