I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
