I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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