They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
