all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
