he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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