he puts the penis in happiness.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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