May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
