Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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