Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
